I gave in

So I wasn't originally gonna post this but I got talked into it haha.

Idk what to say though cuz despite the fact that I said I would post it I'm still not wanting to upset the person this is mainly about cuz something tells me she'll read it. Can't put my finger on why I get that feeling but I do.

Anyway I guess I'm running out of ways to stall for time so I should just spit it out, I guess it couldn't hurt right? This is gonna be cheesy I'm sure

Dear Fraulein,

You know I love you, or at least I hope you know, if not then know this. I love you, and the last two months have been very exciting, random, and just happpy and I don't know how to repay you for the kindness you've shown me when I needed it most. I know I said I understood when you said that we need to just remain friends, and I do, but I know if I reacted differently than I did it would have made things worse. In that I didn't wanna act like a jerk about it, but it still makes me really sad. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I want you to be happy and I don't want to change your mind but at the same time, I want to be more than friends. I'm likely not making any sense in this but I think thats what a blog is for, and why I'm doin this, just to get my thoughts out onto paper...er a screen.

I'm torn between wanting to stay and let you do what will make you happy, or chase after you and do what will make me happy. Guess it's human nature hah, I thought I was ok at first but today...BLAH, lol. To sum it up in a word, I have felt very out of it all day and I know this is why. I don't want to change your mind and I don't want you to change your mind unless it's what you wanna do and it'll make you happy, I know all this seems to contradict that but, you told me to post it haha. Not that it's your fault. Ugh now I'm not making sense, maybe I should shut up. I'll try to explain this further if you want, if you read this.

Sincerly, Your Love