CONTENTS: One hopeless romantic's brain

So in a not so subtle attempt to talk to this girl and to get my thoughts out onto a page so I can see them and hopefully make better sense of them I will grace you all with the presence of my hopeless romantic brain

First off, I've never said this before but as most people know I am a hopeless romantic at heart. However the one thing I've never said before is that despite being a hopeless romantic, there is someone who has given me hope. See what I mean bout the romantic part, Oh by the way

DISCLAIMER: excessive cheesyness, people with dairy allergies should avoid contact. Pregnent women should consult their doctors before reading.

So now that that's outa the way lets get to my thoughts.

I rreeeeally like this girl, and I stress really. No you know what I LOVE her. And I'm not going to be the kind of person to pretend I've never said that to another girl my whole life because I'll be honest I have, but that wasn't good enough for all the girls I have dated before. But this isn't about those that threw me away, it's about her who gave me hope and reminded me to smile :). She is freakin hardcore (although sometimes I forget that, specially when we train).

Ok time for the stuff I've not gotten out yet (I kinda skipped somestuff). I said before bout how I would rather never date but be friends forever. Truth is I would like to date her, but with as old fashioned as I am two things are gonna happen before that does. First she has to want to date me and be perfectly ok with it, I'm not going to control her life's direction so it coicides with mine. And Second, I have to have her Dad's permission to date her when all is said and done because that's just how I roll. I love her very very much, but I want her to be sure that she wants a relationship with me before we go in that direction, because as chiched as it is "It takes two to tango" it also takes two to waltz but that doesn't sound as good, Although I love to waltz.

I don't like getting in a relationship unless it's gonna go somewhere, not like super fast, but I mean. THink about it, if you date someone there are only two places it could go from there, break up or marriage pretty much. And I don't see why people would get into a relationship to break up, look at it that way at it seems sooo dumb. And it's at this point I'm afraid of pushing her away (it's happend before) but, again. What if I die tomorrow and she doesn't know this is how I feel. Again I'm not planning my future out yet, I'm taking life one day at a time and see what happens. Right now We both need to be 100,000% sure where we want the other in our life. Lemme put it this way, this is how different I am. If I decide to date someone, it's a big deal that takes alot of thought from me because I look not at do I think we could be together for a while, I look at "is this someone I wanna spend forever with". Granted I'll admit I wasn't always like this but I'm changing everyday

I still wear my wedding band (No I was never married it's a promise ring but it's an actual wedding band) and the way I look at it, I am married, we just haven't had the reception yet :) or the engagement....or possibly even met cuz like I said, WHO KNOWS.

I gotta be a gentleman, that's one thing I'll NEVER change, that comes from my Great grandfather's ways and his wisdom I have leaned on over the years, He was a gentleman's gentleman and the greatest man I ever knew. He wouldn't marry my great grandma till after the war because he wasn't about to leave her a widow.

I don't wanna break a girl's heart, to me I can't think of something more cruel to do. I think that I don't wanna date a girl then break her heart, which is why I can honestly say I have never left anyone, There was only one "breakup" I had that was mutual and it's a long story but we both knew it wasn't ment to be and nothing had realy changed between us, we didn't need to date is esentially what I'm saying.

The last thing I want to do is scare her off though, I really hope I don't with all this stuff, and I know I'm still young who knows whats gonna happen. But, hopefully this makes more sense then it did in my head. And now, to reread it all HAHA.