Monday, February 28, 2011

When you hurt I hurt

Vol. 2 of I guess things I wanna say to your face. Only this time it's only gonna be one letter

Dear You,
Title says it all, when you hurt I hurt. I feel the pain you go through and it gets worse when I feel that there's nothing I can do to take your pain away. You don't deserve this crap you're being put through and it makes me so infuriated that people are that stupid to treat you this way. Everyday I wake up hoping that you're happy and smiling because you deserve so much more than what these fools are giving you. They don't realize how amazing you are and how lucky they are to have you in their lives. I know how lucky I am and I never want to have a moment where I wish I had done something more to help you when you needed it. You deserve the best life ever and I know I want to always be a part of your life and I want to do whatever I can to help you find true happiness and peace in your life. My door is always open and my phone is always on, if you ever need ANYTHING at all, don't ever hesitate to call me. I gave you the number, now it's up to you if you use it :P

Love,
Me

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Letters to the Presidents

Letters I wish I could send to the world

Dear You,
I seriously hope you don't think that making peoples lives miserable will make them adore you and watch to keep you around, get your head out of your ass and save what little career you have left.
With Regards M.G.

Dear You,
Grow up already you don't like what people say about you but you turn around and admit it about yourself. Get over yourself, yeah people are obviously gonna hate the stupid sh** you do, welcome to life it doesn't get any easier from here. You had alot but you decided to throw it away and for what?
With Regards M.G.

Dear You,
I have a debt I cannot repay for the encouragement and support you gave me over the years, You kept pushing me and wouldn't let me stop trying I just hope I showed how appreciative I am while you were still here.
With Regards M.G.

Dear You,
Ya know after about 39,000 times of me telling you about the stupid things you do, one would certainly THINK that you would wake up and maybe think that there's SOMETHING to everything I say. No ones perfect but PLEASE try accepting that I am right beFORE you get yourself hurt?
With Regards M.G.

Dear You,
Stop bein an itchy B especially where your mom is concerned, you treat her and everyone who doesn't give you what you want like trash. If you don't straighten up one of these days no one will be around to help you when you need it because you will have driven them all away.
With Regards M.G.

Dear You,
I can honestly say I hope I never speak to you again, I tried to be everything you wanted and needed in a man but that wasn't enough apparently. I don't see where that warrents you turning my life into a warzone and going so far as to insult me and my grandma in our own house. I can honestly say I look back and wonder who the hell hurt you in Wichita because you left and a week later someone else came back.
With Regards just to save my honor M.G.

Dear You,
You took the best part of my life, dangled it in front of my face then snatched it away when I tried to do MY job that YOU gave me and I GLADLY accepted. That little girl meant and still means more to me than you will ever know. But I can honestly say I pray she forgot me, I don't want that girl growing up thinking the one man who loved her more than any other walked out on her. She deserves better
With Regards to my little princess only M.G.

Now for more cheery letters

Dear You Two,

You both have been SUCH an influence on my life it's utterly AMAZING!! You guys are my adoptive family, I don't know where I would be if it weren't for you. If I could go back and pick someone to be my father it would be you because you never left me in the dust when I needed a father figure most. I love you both
With my very Best Love and Regards M.G.

Dear You,
I'm sorry I was such a punk as a kid, I'm trying to make up for it now. I think I respect more of what you went through with me seeing what you put up with now, however I will say I wasn't near as bad as the rest of them especially now. I decided to grow up and I know that made you happier. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my best..
Love, Matthew

Dear You,
I've been saving this letter for last because it means the most to me so I have wanted to take as long as possible to think about what to write. I've gotten closer to you in the last 4 months than we have in the last 2 years. We've developed a friendship that great stories are written about and I honestly will do whatever it takes to hold onto that forever. When I told you I'm not going anywhere I mean it, the only thing I have to prove it to you is my word and right now it may not mean much but I promise you if given the chance, I won't let you down. I wish that everyday I could tell you just how beautiful you are and how lucky these people are to know you and how STUPID some of them are to hurt you. Whenever you hurt, I hurt, We feel each others pains and we even think alike. We know the perfect times to act like adults and when to act like five year olds :). Baconland isn't Baconland without you there. :)
From me to you with love, Mattie

That was fun, and somewhat theraputic :D

It's been a while

My dear it has been far too long and for this post I plan to type out whatever pops into my head and NOOO cheating by backspacing except if I make a typo because I type WAAAAY too fast. With that said LLLLETS GET RRRREADY TO RAAAAMBLLLLLLLEEEEE!!!!!!

SO whats goin on, weeeell I have got the tentative date for my BLACKBELT TEST!!!! May 14th I will be reaching the end of a journey I decided to make 13 years ago and begin a new journey that will end when I die :P. This new journey is that I wish to train my heart out and recieve my Odan, my 5th degree blackbelt.

I have poured gallons upon gallons of blood sweat and tears into my red belt so much that it is like a part of me, I never go ANYWHERE without my belt no matter how far from home I go my belt is right there in my passenger seat with me. Non Martial Artists won't understand this lol but ANY rank you get has sentimental value because of the amount of hardship you went through and how much stronger you've become since then. It is a good feeling when you see that belt around your waist or hold it in your hand and say "Yeah that's mine"

~Pause to catch up on Iron Chef :P and to rethink what I'm writing~

So I've been asked just to ramble bout what's on my mind, and I gotta be honest there's one thing on my mind right now. The girl who requested I ramble bout whats on my mind LOL. Funny ol world idn't it.

So Layna, yes I'm going to talk to you through Blogpost, I see nothing strange about this, although I admit I am not sure what to say.

I'm worryin bout my Dan test though, like I said it's about two months away and I'm kinda freakin out worrying that I won't be able to meet the challenges that I need to in order to be ready. I need a break from school so I can get my mind right and just focus.

Speaking of which in order to take a break I should write my paper before I run out of time to do it, and I gotta do my German Homework sometime. Ugh. ANyway I gotta cut this off here. Peace

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Whats up/Wie Gehts

So I got a request to post whats been on my mind last few days. So heeeeeerrreeee, we go LOL.

Pretty much the last few days I have been focused on two main things. Praying for this girl, and freaking about my tests.

So lets start at the top. This girl is special to me, she means alot and yet she's been going through some rough times. I've asked a few people to be praying for her and I've been praying for her and I know she's doing at least a little better so I shouldn't stop now, and I won't :).

Ok THIS makes me sooo flippin ticked. I have been cramming ALLL weekend for these 6 tests I have in Political Science, they are more like quizes but even still they are a pain in the butt. and I just found out today that they aren't even due yet!!! Made me mad HAHAHA. But yeah.

SO with that done now I have switched my focus back in between school and training. I just got done doing a few pushups, squats, punches and crunches. Nothing like the basics to get pumped up, with the routine I'm doing I'm supposed to do it one day then take a day off, then work out, then rest. BUT, I'm hardcore enough I'm doing it everyday HAHA just so I can keep my body floating on my adrenaline high and getting myself pumped up for my Dan.

Today I have been glued to my tv watching season 2 of DBZ, for those non-nerds out there this is the season where the Z fighters go to Namek to wish their friends back and Goku destroys the Ginyu Force. Not my favorite Season but it's still hardcore.

Right now I am STARVING!!!! I forgot how hungry working out makes me haha, I remember when I was training for last years tournament around this time on the day of the tournament I ate like 5 or 6 times because I would eat and then get hungry again in like an hour, and this was before my competition HAHA. That was the hardest fight I've ever had too, it lasted a good 7-8 minutes of back and forth punching and kicking, I walked away beaten in both matches (Although in my defense I was matched against Blackbelts so I was impressed with myself I lasted as well as I did) but my trophy for the fighting was a cracked rib or two HAHA. And a pretty sweet fist shaped bruise.

So Tomorrow is Valentines Day, and it makes me kinda upset that people on FB are all snotty about how they don't wanna hear other people being "in love" and how happy they are on V day. When they would say that all the time whenever they were in love. Kinda ticks me off but whatever, I choose to be happy tomorrow.

Never really had a Valentine either, I did once back in grade school haha. Doubt I'll have one this year either but it's ok because I know what I have :)

Monday, February 7, 2011

Que Sera Sera

To open this post I want to say that people say the most honest (and sometimes for them embarassing) things in their sleep :P

Few days ago I was talking with someone on the phone and they fell asleep and yet our conversation carried on for well over the next two hours :P and lemme tell you I was laughing alot :P. SOme interesting things get said when your subconsious mind takes over.

Lets just say I learned more about what this person thinks about herself and me than I thought I ever would, at least at this point in time :P. I also admitted to a few things buuuut, Funny thing bout sleep talkin is no matter what I said she couldn't remember it HAHA. But it just meant I got to say it all again :P. Needless to say though she has been more than slightly embarrassed by what she said :P

Aaaand writers block.

Tonight I ended up training and it nearly killed me, Kinda wished I popped two advil before I went but I survived. And I got to do some partner drills with my favorite partner....BUUUUT I forgot I asked if we could do partner kicking and I felt like I was going to DIIIIE, it SUUUUCKED but at least I got to do some of it before my Dan test, hopefully next week I'll be back at 110%. 

We even did pushups and I felt AMAZING, I can definatly feel that in the last few months I've gotten insanely stronger, I packed on 10 lbs. of extra muscle, now I'm workin on getting my body weight back down to at least 175 without losing it but it's mostly on my arms and calves so I think I can do it, gotta get over this bug first, and let my back heal up a lil more before I start doin more crunches and my favorite leg workout....UGH, but it's gotta be done so I can have my knees back at 100% for my test.

I could get the call that my test is scheduled at anytime so I gotta be ready at ANYTIME!!! So no pressure :P but I gotta kick myself back into the Feral Warzone and tear it UP!!!

I'm feeling waaay to pumped for it to be 11 at night lol.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

What a week

Well what can I say about this past week.

I survived the Midwestern Blizzard of 2011. I suppose you could call it surviving haha, I'm fairly certain I threw my back out shoveling snow hahaha or SOMETHING!!

I didn't do too aweful much during the snow except shovel it and throw it at people hahaha.

Well to start things off my car got frozen to the ground, and I do mean FROZEN!! When the snow melted a bit during the day my passenger side tires froze to the road, and to make matters worse when the snow plows came roaring down my street they piled up MORE snow on top of my car. So I didn't go ANYWHERE, and I was supposed to go sledding with my favorite blonde redbelt :P.

This weekend I got pretty sick from some back food I think, at least I'm hoping thats what it was, and to top it off my back was hurting something HORRIBLE.

Friday night I still couldn't use my car so sadly instead of going sledding with my friend Layna I hitched a ride around town and we shoveled snow for people around town, I have seriously shoveled a dozen houses during the course of this snowstorm haha. The last house we shoveled had people in it (NO WAY) the old couple walked to the door and thought we were with a church youth group. Which I guess we kinda were doing it for our Local Bible study group TJT. Anyway the lady was like "Who is your leader" talking about like our youth director but then the man was like "Take us to your leader" I about died laughing. They insisted on giving us all money to go buy hot chocolate which was very sweet of them. We spent the rest of the evening at Braums everyone drinking hot cocoa, I opted for a cup of coffee, and then going and jumping into the mountains of snow sitting in their parking lot. My friend Shelby did front flips into it while I did a few Karate moves haha.

Saturday I was up all night sick and it happend to be the day of our Karate Skating party. I was also stuck on the couch with a veeeery sore back and I knew there was no way I could go. Well to hopefully make a pretty girl smile I endured the pain and drove to the Party. I skated for all of 5 minutes before I could barely walk let alone skate, but I think it was the whole going in a circle thing that really bugged me out. The drive home was HORRIBLE!!! And to make matters worse we had NO medicine to make me feel better so I had to wait in line at Walgreens for dang EVER why I tried to buy ma druuugs haha. I popped two advil and FINALLY got some sleep on the couch and I've been pretty painfree since then.

Today my day was pretty swamped with school work and I totally forgot it was Super Bowl Sunday, not that I cared too much I wasn't at all enthusiastic for this seasons lineup. I pretty much bet on the Packers cuz it would tick some people off HAHA and I almost won 20 bucks out of it if my concious didn't hit me HAHA.

Tomorrow my day will likely be spent researching for my Political Science Unit Quiz and my Criminology Paper, then Karate to watch my friend get promoted to 2nd Gup and possibly train if I'm feeling up to it.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Wie geht es Ihnen

Have you ever had a HORRIBLE case of writers block, ok so me getting writers block on a blog is a first for me.

So tonight I went to see Alayna's 2nd Gup test, She has just one more test before she's eligable for her Chodan, and it feels like just yesterday I was there too haha. The core group of Adult Martial Artists in the studios are getting to Chodan FAST. I am eligable right now for mine and am just waiting for Sa bo Nim to tell me the date of my test, and Alayna will be testing for hers this fall.

SO what's on my mind, well a certain girl as always, not sure where things are headed with us but we've been talking and learnin bout each other in the last few days. I remain hopeful.

So I officially HATE algebra, I'm not making the best progress on my makeup work for College Algebra, but I have a trick that'll help me get it done quick, I'll still be doing the work and it's not cheating so it works.
German is loads of fun I'm enjoying it. Monday I have a test over German pronouns and verb stems. I gotta memorize them.

So we didn't have Engineering Graphics class due to the fact that the projector fried. SO I spent the hour looking up Knife defense videos and found some pretty interesting ones. I may post one later here.

I am currently falling asleep and someone is calling me in her sleep :)

Maybe I should learn to not post at night when I am most likely to fall asleep at my laptop.

Guten Abend!