Have you ever had a HORRIBLE case of writers block, ok so me getting writers block on a blog is a first for me.
So tonight I went to see Alayna's 2nd Gup test, She has just one more test before she's eligable for her Chodan, and it feels like just yesterday I was there too haha. The core group of Adult Martial Artists in the studios are getting to Chodan FAST. I am eligable right now for mine and am just waiting for Sa bo Nim to tell me the date of my test, and Alayna will be testing for hers this fall.
SO what's on my mind, well a certain girl as always, not sure where things are headed with us but we've been talking and learnin bout each other in the last few days. I remain hopeful.
So I officially HATE algebra, I'm not making the best progress on my makeup work for College Algebra, but I have a trick that'll help me get it done quick, I'll still be doing the work and it's not cheating so it works.
German is loads of fun I'm enjoying it. Monday I have a test over German pronouns and verb stems. I gotta memorize them.
So we didn't have Engineering Graphics class due to the fact that the projector fried. SO I spent the hour looking up Knife defense videos and found some pretty interesting ones. I may post one later here.
I am currently falling asleep and someone is calling me in her sleep :)
Maybe I should learn to not post at night when I am most likely to fall asleep at my laptop.
Guten Abend!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Que Sera Sera
So I don't know why but the last few days have made me reflect on my life, where it was vs. where it is now.
For one I'm alot happier now than I was because a while back I threw my hands up and said "FORGET YOU" to the world haha. When asked if my cup is half full or half empty I used to say it's half, if not totally, empty. Now I prefer to ask "what am I drinking", by which I mean it matters more to me what's in the cup rather than how much or how little. I could care less if it's got two drops or two million, I wanna know what "it" is.
UGGH so I had this WHOLE dang thing typed out and my computer decided to lose my draft and sign me out so I lost the whole thing and it makes me sooo mad.
So this is gonna be shorter than my original was because my eyes are starting to hurt.
So this Sunday is the first ever Dan Class at the karate studio. It's a special three hour training session only open to 1st Gups and Dans (Red belt's with 2 blue tips and all Blackbelts) I am soo psyched for it.
Now I am falling asleep at my keyboard so I will post a new thing tomorrow. Guten Abend und Bis Spater!!
For one I'm alot happier now than I was because a while back I threw my hands up and said "FORGET YOU" to the world haha. When asked if my cup is half full or half empty I used to say it's half, if not totally, empty. Now I prefer to ask "what am I drinking", by which I mean it matters more to me what's in the cup rather than how much or how little. I could care less if it's got two drops or two million, I wanna know what "it" is.
UGGH so I had this WHOLE dang thing typed out and my computer decided to lose my draft and sign me out so I lost the whole thing and it makes me sooo mad.
So this is gonna be shorter than my original was because my eyes are starting to hurt.
So this Sunday is the first ever Dan Class at the karate studio. It's a special three hour training session only open to 1st Gups and Dans (Red belt's with 2 blue tips and all Blackbelts) I am soo psyched for it.
Now I am falling asleep at my keyboard so I will post a new thing tomorrow. Guten Abend und Bis Spater!!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
I gave in
So I wasn't originally gonna post this but I got talked into it haha.
Idk what to say though cuz despite the fact that I said I would post it I'm still not wanting to upset the person this is mainly about cuz something tells me she'll read it. Can't put my finger on why I get that feeling but I do.
Anyway I guess I'm running out of ways to stall for time so I should just spit it out, I guess it couldn't hurt right? This is gonna be cheesy I'm sure
Dear Fraulein,
You know I love you, or at least I hope you know, if not then know this. I love you, and the last two months have been very exciting, random, and just happpy and I don't know how to repay you for the kindness you've shown me when I needed it most. I know I said I understood when you said that we need to just remain friends, and I do, but I know if I reacted differently than I did it would have made things worse. In that I didn't wanna act like a jerk about it, but it still makes me really sad. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I want you to be happy and I don't want to change your mind but at the same time, I want to be more than friends. I'm likely not making any sense in this but I think thats what a blog is for, and why I'm doin this, just to get my thoughts out onto paper...er a screen.
I'm torn between wanting to stay and let you do what will make you happy, or chase after you and do what will make me happy. Guess it's human nature hah, I thought I was ok at first but today...BLAH, lol. To sum it up in a word, I have felt very out of it all day and I know this is why. I don't want to change your mind and I don't want you to change your mind unless it's what you wanna do and it'll make you happy, I know all this seems to contradict that but, you told me to post it haha. Not that it's your fault. Ugh now I'm not making sense, maybe I should shut up. I'll try to explain this further if you want, if you read this.
Sincerly, Your Love
Idk what to say though cuz despite the fact that I said I would post it I'm still not wanting to upset the person this is mainly about cuz something tells me she'll read it. Can't put my finger on why I get that feeling but I do.
Anyway I guess I'm running out of ways to stall for time so I should just spit it out, I guess it couldn't hurt right? This is gonna be cheesy I'm sure
Dear Fraulein,
You know I love you, or at least I hope you know, if not then know this. I love you, and the last two months have been very exciting, random, and just happpy and I don't know how to repay you for the kindness you've shown me when I needed it most. I know I said I understood when you said that we need to just remain friends, and I do, but I know if I reacted differently than I did it would have made things worse. In that I didn't wanna act like a jerk about it, but it still makes me really sad. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I want you to be happy and I don't want to change your mind but at the same time, I want to be more than friends. I'm likely not making any sense in this but I think thats what a blog is for, and why I'm doin this, just to get my thoughts out onto paper...er a screen.
I'm torn between wanting to stay and let you do what will make you happy, or chase after you and do what will make me happy. Guess it's human nature hah, I thought I was ok at first but today...BLAH, lol. To sum it up in a word, I have felt very out of it all day and I know this is why. I don't want to change your mind and I don't want you to change your mind unless it's what you wanna do and it'll make you happy, I know all this seems to contradict that but, you told me to post it haha. Not that it's your fault. Ugh now I'm not making sense, maybe I should shut up. I'll try to explain this further if you want, if you read this.
Sincerly, Your Love
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
CONTENTS: One hopeless romantic's brain
So in a not so subtle attempt to talk to this girl and to get my thoughts out onto a page so I can see them and hopefully make better sense of them I will grace you all with the presence of my hopeless romantic brain
First off, I've never said this before but as most people know I am a hopeless romantic at heart. However the one thing I've never said before is that despite being a hopeless romantic, there is someone who has given me hope. See what I mean bout the romantic part, Oh by the way
DISCLAIMER: excessive cheesyness, people with dairy allergies should avoid contact. Pregnent women should consult their doctors before reading.
So now that that's outa the way lets get to my thoughts.
I rreeeeally like this girl, and I stress really. No you know what I LOVE her. And I'm not going to be the kind of person to pretend I've never said that to another girl my whole life because I'll be honest I have, but that wasn't good enough for all the girls I have dated before. But this isn't about those that threw me away, it's about her who gave me hope and reminded me to smile :). She is freakin hardcore (although sometimes I forget that, specially when we train).
Ok time for the stuff I've not gotten out yet (I kinda skipped somestuff). I said before bout how I would rather never date but be friends forever. Truth is I would like to date her, but with as old fashioned as I am two things are gonna happen before that does. First she has to want to date me and be perfectly ok with it, I'm not going to control her life's direction so it coicides with mine. And Second, I have to have her Dad's permission to date her when all is said and done because that's just how I roll. I love her very very much, but I want her to be sure that she wants a relationship with me before we go in that direction, because as chiched as it is "It takes two to tango" it also takes two to waltz but that doesn't sound as good, Although I love to waltz.
I don't like getting in a relationship unless it's gonna go somewhere, not like super fast, but I mean. THink about it, if you date someone there are only two places it could go from there, break up or marriage pretty much. And I don't see why people would get into a relationship to break up, look at it that way at it seems sooo dumb. And it's at this point I'm afraid of pushing her away (it's happend before) but, again. What if I die tomorrow and she doesn't know this is how I feel. Again I'm not planning my future out yet, I'm taking life one day at a time and see what happens. Right now We both need to be 100,000% sure where we want the other in our life. Lemme put it this way, this is how different I am. If I decide to date someone, it's a big deal that takes alot of thought from me because I look not at do I think we could be together for a while, I look at "is this someone I wanna spend forever with". Granted I'll admit I wasn't always like this but I'm changing everyday
I still wear my wedding band (No I was never married it's a promise ring but it's an actual wedding band) and the way I look at it, I am married, we just haven't had the reception yet :) or the engagement....or possibly even met cuz like I said, WHO KNOWS.
I gotta be a gentleman, that's one thing I'll NEVER change, that comes from my Great grandfather's ways and his wisdom I have leaned on over the years, He was a gentleman's gentleman and the greatest man I ever knew. He wouldn't marry my great grandma till after the war because he wasn't about to leave her a widow.
I don't wanna break a girl's heart, to me I can't think of something more cruel to do. I think that I don't wanna date a girl then break her heart, which is why I can honestly say I have never left anyone, There was only one "breakup" I had that was mutual and it's a long story but we both knew it wasn't ment to be and nothing had realy changed between us, we didn't need to date is esentially what I'm saying.
The last thing I want to do is scare her off though, I really hope I don't with all this stuff, and I know I'm still young who knows whats gonna happen. But, hopefully this makes more sense then it did in my head. And now, to reread it all HAHA.
First off, I've never said this before but as most people know I am a hopeless romantic at heart. However the one thing I've never said before is that despite being a hopeless romantic, there is someone who has given me hope. See what I mean bout the romantic part, Oh by the way
DISCLAIMER: excessive cheesyness, people with dairy allergies should avoid contact. Pregnent women should consult their doctors before reading.
So now that that's outa the way lets get to my thoughts.
I rreeeeally like this girl, and I stress really. No you know what I LOVE her. And I'm not going to be the kind of person to pretend I've never said that to another girl my whole life because I'll be honest I have, but that wasn't good enough for all the girls I have dated before. But this isn't about those that threw me away, it's about her who gave me hope and reminded me to smile :). She is freakin hardcore (although sometimes I forget that, specially when we train).
Ok time for the stuff I've not gotten out yet (I kinda skipped somestuff). I said before bout how I would rather never date but be friends forever. Truth is I would like to date her, but with as old fashioned as I am two things are gonna happen before that does. First she has to want to date me and be perfectly ok with it, I'm not going to control her life's direction so it coicides with mine. And Second, I have to have her Dad's permission to date her when all is said and done because that's just how I roll. I love her very very much, but I want her to be sure that she wants a relationship with me before we go in that direction, because as chiched as it is "It takes two to tango" it also takes two to waltz but that doesn't sound as good, Although I love to waltz.
I don't like getting in a relationship unless it's gonna go somewhere, not like super fast, but I mean. THink about it, if you date someone there are only two places it could go from there, break up or marriage pretty much. And I don't see why people would get into a relationship to break up, look at it that way at it seems sooo dumb. And it's at this point I'm afraid of pushing her away (it's happend before) but, again. What if I die tomorrow and she doesn't know this is how I feel. Again I'm not planning my future out yet, I'm taking life one day at a time and see what happens. Right now We both need to be 100,000% sure where we want the other in our life. Lemme put it this way, this is how different I am. If I decide to date someone, it's a big deal that takes alot of thought from me because I look not at do I think we could be together for a while, I look at "is this someone I wanna spend forever with". Granted I'll admit I wasn't always like this but I'm changing everyday
I still wear my wedding band (No I was never married it's a promise ring but it's an actual wedding band) and the way I look at it, I am married, we just haven't had the reception yet :) or the engagement....or possibly even met cuz like I said, WHO KNOWS.
I gotta be a gentleman, that's one thing I'll NEVER change, that comes from my Great grandfather's ways and his wisdom I have leaned on over the years, He was a gentleman's gentleman and the greatest man I ever knew. He wouldn't marry my great grandma till after the war because he wasn't about to leave her a widow.
I don't wanna break a girl's heart, to me I can't think of something more cruel to do. I think that I don't wanna date a girl then break her heart, which is why I can honestly say I have never left anyone, There was only one "breakup" I had that was mutual and it's a long story but we both knew it wasn't ment to be and nothing had realy changed between us, we didn't need to date is esentially what I'm saying.
The last thing I want to do is scare her off though, I really hope I don't with all this stuff, and I know I'm still young who knows whats gonna happen. But, hopefully this makes more sense then it did in my head. And now, to reread it all HAHA.
Karate!!!!
Das right, this post will be about nuffin but Karate, specifically Tang Soo Do. Sooo...HAJIME..oh wait wrong style, SIEJAC!!!
So last night we worked lead leg sweeps and counters, then forearm conditioning which to be perfectly primitive is basically two people slamming their forearms together hahaha. I have a few SHWEET bruises from that. Then tonight me and ma partner did the same thing with sweeps and I almost said something totally cheesy, like I'm talkin Velveeta cheesy. However I said it last night haha and I'll let you figure out what I said. Tonight we ran through a few forms, korean terminology, and houshin sool. :D.
That's all for this cuz I'm actually gona make a while different post about my thoughts to help me make sense of them, seeing the words makes it easier sometimes lol
So last night we worked lead leg sweeps and counters, then forearm conditioning which to be perfectly primitive is basically two people slamming their forearms together hahaha. I have a few SHWEET bruises from that. Then tonight me and ma partner did the same thing with sweeps and I almost said something totally cheesy, like I'm talkin Velveeta cheesy. However I said it last night haha and I'll let you figure out what I said. Tonight we ran through a few forms, korean terminology, and houshin sool. :D.
That's all for this cuz I'm actually gona make a while different post about my thoughts to help me make sense of them, seeing the words makes it easier sometimes lol
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Guten Abend!
Tag!
So two things I wanna open this post with, I love German. And I so wanna cheat :/ and if anyone besides the one person who gets this reads it All I can say about it is it's not a bad kinda cheating lol, the person who maybe the only one reading this understand what I mean :). So esentially I'm speaking to a non exsistant audience since I don't have to explain it to her.
Well that was fun haha, Anyhoo.
Who knows where my life is headed, heck if I do. This year I'm doin things a bit differently after overcoming the trials of 2010. And before we continue NO I AM NO APATHETIC....most of the time
I am gonna lace up my chucks (I miss my chucks :( ) And basically take life by the seat of my pants and take each day as it comes, heck I could die tomorrow why should I care bout what stress is gonna happen HAHA. that is if I die, if I survive sleep and wake up tomorrow then I'll worry bout it.
Point is I'm not really concerned with having a plan for my life cuz for the most part it's gotten me through alright so far, in fact when I plan things out (my wedding this year as well as others I won't go into detail) they always end up getting screwed up.
YEars ago someone taught me this lesson and I gotta say she is the coolest most free spirited best friend a guy could have ever asked for. I LOVE YOU MY DEAR MOSHIBE!!!
And Ironically enough she is my only ex (yeah we dated for a bit) that I stay in contact with when we broke up and she's the only one I still have respect for as a person, sad to say but it's true.
As for another possible relationship, Yeah I just got outa a rough one but I have moved on and made myself at peace with what happend, It wasn't meant to be and I tried to set things in motion that weren't going to happen. And when that happens I get decieved which happend lol.
SO there is this girl, she's absolutly AMAZING!! I mean seriously, she is a great friend a hardcore martial artist and insanely random (and I thought only I was that nuts :P) I do love her :) she is very cool and I could spend all night talkin bout what I like bout her. I will say though that Idk what will come from this. Because again I'm not planning ahead I'm taking life a day at a time, and we are waiting to see what happens together, she has to make some choices and find what feels right in her life and doesn't wanna ruin our friendship over it and I totally respect that. I would rather never date her and be her friend forever than date her, God forbid something go terribly wrong, and us never speak again. But I felt like sayin that I'm praying for her to get the guidence she seeks in her life. I just decided to take up a buncha space to say that :P
Ok that's it for now I think, The computer screen is hurtin my eyes actually so I will Likely post tomorrow about Karate tonight haha
Auf Wiedersehen und Guten Abend!
So two things I wanna open this post with, I love German. And I so wanna cheat :/ and if anyone besides the one person who gets this reads it All I can say about it is it's not a bad kinda cheating lol, the person who maybe the only one reading this understand what I mean :). So esentially I'm speaking to a non exsistant audience since I don't have to explain it to her.
Well that was fun haha, Anyhoo.
Who knows where my life is headed, heck if I do. This year I'm doin things a bit differently after overcoming the trials of 2010. And before we continue NO I AM NO APATHETIC....most of the time
I am gonna lace up my chucks (I miss my chucks :( ) And basically take life by the seat of my pants and take each day as it comes, heck I could die tomorrow why should I care bout what stress is gonna happen HAHA. that is if I die, if I survive sleep and wake up tomorrow then I'll worry bout it.
Point is I'm not really concerned with having a plan for my life cuz for the most part it's gotten me through alright so far, in fact when I plan things out (my wedding this year as well as others I won't go into detail) they always end up getting screwed up.
YEars ago someone taught me this lesson and I gotta say she is the coolest most free spirited best friend a guy could have ever asked for. I LOVE YOU MY DEAR MOSHIBE!!!
And Ironically enough she is my only ex (yeah we dated for a bit) that I stay in contact with when we broke up and she's the only one I still have respect for as a person, sad to say but it's true.
As for another possible relationship, Yeah I just got outa a rough one but I have moved on and made myself at peace with what happend, It wasn't meant to be and I tried to set things in motion that weren't going to happen. And when that happens I get decieved which happend lol.
SO there is this girl, she's absolutly AMAZING!! I mean seriously, she is a great friend a hardcore martial artist and insanely random (and I thought only I was that nuts :P) I do love her :) she is very cool and I could spend all night talkin bout what I like bout her. I will say though that Idk what will come from this. Because again I'm not planning ahead I'm taking life a day at a time, and we are waiting to see what happens together, she has to make some choices and find what feels right in her life and doesn't wanna ruin our friendship over it and I totally respect that. I would rather never date her and be her friend forever than date her, God forbid something go terribly wrong, and us never speak again. But I felt like sayin that I'm praying for her to get the guidence she seeks in her life. I just decided to take up a buncha space to say that :P
Ok that's it for now I think, The computer screen is hurtin my eyes actually so I will Likely post tomorrow about Karate tonight haha
Auf Wiedersehen und Guten Abend!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Why, do I have to beg
When all that's left, is a memory, forsaken.
I have been on SUCH a Skillet kick lately, that and Irish music (Flogging Molly, Dropkick Murphys) is ALL I have listened to the last two days.
Last three days or so I have been thinking alot about the person I used to be and the person I am now. How the former turned into the latter and how they both seem to be coexsisting at the moment. I feel stuck in an endless waltz with the three beats of past present and future spinning around me. MAN I should write this stuff down, oh wait I am.
This I think will be one of the posts where I may just pour my thoughts onto my computer, so it may not make much sense but to some it may make perfect sense, who knows.
SO...I've decided that this year I want to shed aside ALL parts of my past, I can't change what happend but I do have the power to forget. I don't wanna go through the drama and pain I went through last year and every year previous. I have too much going for me this year, and too much I am hoping for. So yet again I am in an endless struggle to make myself stronger.
OK and so to start this, NO MORE DEPRESSING SHTUFF!!
But I'm out of things to talk about, OH WAIT, if some of my posts have random German in them it's cuz I need to practice some of my shtuff for my German class this semester
Auf Wiedersehen!!
I have been on SUCH a Skillet kick lately, that and Irish music (Flogging Molly, Dropkick Murphys) is ALL I have listened to the last two days.
Last three days or so I have been thinking alot about the person I used to be and the person I am now. How the former turned into the latter and how they both seem to be coexsisting at the moment. I feel stuck in an endless waltz with the three beats of past present and future spinning around me. MAN I should write this stuff down, oh wait I am.
This I think will be one of the posts where I may just pour my thoughts onto my computer, so it may not make much sense but to some it may make perfect sense, who knows.
SO...I've decided that this year I want to shed aside ALL parts of my past, I can't change what happend but I do have the power to forget. I don't wanna go through the drama and pain I went through last year and every year previous. I have too much going for me this year, and too much I am hoping for. So yet again I am in an endless struggle to make myself stronger.
OK and so to start this, NO MORE DEPRESSING SHTUFF!!
But I'm out of things to talk about, OH WAIT, if some of my posts have random German in them it's cuz I need to practice some of my shtuff for my German class this semester
Auf Wiedersehen!!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I will Tear you apart
So in a twist I'm posting a morning post. I feel like I can say whatever I want on here and sometimes it makes me feel better, SO.
MY ex fiance's ex (guy she was with before me) treated her like garbage, well apparently he thinks it's cool for him to harass my friends sayin how he's takin good care of her now. And to be honest with you, I could care less.
He is a spineless little punk and to be honest with you I would love the chance to fight him, but he ain't even worth my effort (not that there would be any to take him out) If they are back together then all ties with my ex are broken and I have lost what little respect I had left for her, because it shows she just used me to get to him or whatever but guess what, it's the relationship from hell and they deserve each other.
Well I went from a near dead sleep to nearly jumping out my window when I saw his name because of how pissed he made me. But who cares he's not EVEN worth writing about but I find a bit of solace in knowing if I had to I could tear him to peices, is that so wrong?
MY ex fiance's ex (guy she was with before me) treated her like garbage, well apparently he thinks it's cool for him to harass my friends sayin how he's takin good care of her now. And to be honest with you, I could care less.
He is a spineless little punk and to be honest with you I would love the chance to fight him, but he ain't even worth my effort (not that there would be any to take him out) If they are back together then all ties with my ex are broken and I have lost what little respect I had left for her, because it shows she just used me to get to him or whatever but guess what, it's the relationship from hell and they deserve each other.
Well I went from a near dead sleep to nearly jumping out my window when I saw his name because of how pissed he made me. But who cares he's not EVEN worth writing about but I find a bit of solace in knowing if I had to I could tear him to peices, is that so wrong?
Friday, January 14, 2011
STYLO!!
SO today was my first day working in AutoCAD, the Drafting program I am learning to use in my Engineering class. I drew a few circles, some lines, and a cresent moon HAHA, needless to say I am not very skilled with AutoCAD YET. But I am definatly having fun with that class, if nothing else Prof. O'Neill is freakin HILARIOUS.
Today was also quite possibly the last time I'll ever see my ex girlfriend (and fiance). In a long drawn out business, her pay checks were getting direct deposited into my bank account so it would be easier, well when she left me she either forgot or didn't bother to change that so I had to drive around and get her check then get it to her. I think for the most part I am extremely disappointed with how things ended between me and her, over a text message no less HAHA. Yeah
I have discovered closure in a number of ways although Idk if I'll get over the want for answers any time soon, Yeah you heard me right. She left me without any explanation (and AGAIN, over a TEXT) Something sound craptastic here doesn't it? I am quoting John in saying that HAHA
Meh, She is moving to a town in Oklahoma called Claremore so today is probably the last time I'll ever see her again. She doesn't even live in the same town as me but, eh who knows.
We were planning to get married, she didn't know it but I already had the engagement ring picked out, the problem was me finding a store that sold that particular band design. In the surrounding 4 states only two of them had it and they were at least 6 hours either way, AND I couldn't talk to anyone bout it without being there at the store, convenient right. BLAAH, so I am done talknig about this
Sooo depressing, but I guess if I never get it out I'll never get better. maybe thats why kids feel better after they puke. TOTALLY different scenario but hey same basic principle right?
So this week I also started working again and this week was also when time went in...WHO THE HECK SET THIS UP, So I will only get paid for 4 hours worth of work I did in 2 days. Who's idea is all this anyway.
SO I have been listening to alot of Skillet today, and I have learned I cant post their lyrics on FB without some people askin if I am ok. Funny part about it is that these are the people who have never seen me bad, if I am hurting trust me you won't hear bout it on FB, yeah I may post stuff bout how ticked I am at stupidity. But If I am truly hurting I have other ways of telling the people I actually want to know about it lol.
SO there's this girl right (Here we go, first depression then anger now love, we should cover ALL emotions) She knows most of this stuff cuz we talk alot and, it's just easy for me to talk to her. Idk if anything will happen between us (Relationship wise) but I'm ok with that, we're both takin life a day at a time and I'll tell you, I can truthfully say I would rather never date her and be friends forever than date her too quickly, foul up, and her hate me forever. I do care for her don't misinterpret that. But it's cuz I care for her that I'm gonna do it this way, and I know she understands cuz we talked it over
I cannot stand my family anymore can I say that. I'm sorry but I love my mom but the rest of them, need to seriously grow up because I'm getting tired of putting up with the verbal (and sometimes physical) abuse I have to endure just to take care of business there. And I say that because legally I am an adult and they are minors so I can't do anything and my parents wont do anything, I mean me and my sister samantha never got along as kids, but she never stabbed me with a pen I will leave it at that
I feel like I am passing out at my keyboard so I will cut this off, I may post tomorrow but I will be busy praying for a miracle to pass Algebra so that I can actually graduate this spring from college.
Today was also quite possibly the last time I'll ever see my ex girlfriend (and fiance). In a long drawn out business, her pay checks were getting direct deposited into my bank account so it would be easier, well when she left me she either forgot or didn't bother to change that so I had to drive around and get her check then get it to her. I think for the most part I am extremely disappointed with how things ended between me and her, over a text message no less HAHA. Yeah
I have discovered closure in a number of ways although Idk if I'll get over the want for answers any time soon, Yeah you heard me right. She left me without any explanation (and AGAIN, over a TEXT) Something sound craptastic here doesn't it? I am quoting John in saying that HAHA
Meh, She is moving to a town in Oklahoma called Claremore so today is probably the last time I'll ever see her again. She doesn't even live in the same town as me but, eh who knows.
We were planning to get married, she didn't know it but I already had the engagement ring picked out, the problem was me finding a store that sold that particular band design. In the surrounding 4 states only two of them had it and they were at least 6 hours either way, AND I couldn't talk to anyone bout it without being there at the store, convenient right. BLAAH, so I am done talknig about this
Sooo depressing, but I guess if I never get it out I'll never get better. maybe thats why kids feel better after they puke. TOTALLY different scenario but hey same basic principle right?
So this week I also started working again and this week was also when time went in...WHO THE HECK SET THIS UP, So I will only get paid for 4 hours worth of work I did in 2 days. Who's idea is all this anyway.
SO I have been listening to alot of Skillet today, and I have learned I cant post their lyrics on FB without some people askin if I am ok. Funny part about it is that these are the people who have never seen me bad, if I am hurting trust me you won't hear bout it on FB, yeah I may post stuff bout how ticked I am at stupidity. But If I am truly hurting I have other ways of telling the people I actually want to know about it lol.
SO there's this girl right (Here we go, first depression then anger now love, we should cover ALL emotions) She knows most of this stuff cuz we talk alot and, it's just easy for me to talk to her. Idk if anything will happen between us (Relationship wise) but I'm ok with that, we're both takin life a day at a time and I'll tell you, I can truthfully say I would rather never date her and be friends forever than date her too quickly, foul up, and her hate me forever. I do care for her don't misinterpret that. But it's cuz I care for her that I'm gonna do it this way, and I know she understands cuz we talked it over
I cannot stand my family anymore can I say that. I'm sorry but I love my mom but the rest of them, need to seriously grow up because I'm getting tired of putting up with the verbal (and sometimes physical) abuse I have to endure just to take care of business there. And I say that because legally I am an adult and they are minors so I can't do anything and my parents wont do anything, I mean me and my sister samantha never got along as kids, but she never stabbed me with a pen I will leave it at that
I feel like I am passing out at my keyboard so I will cut this off, I may post tomorrow but I will be busy praying for a miracle to pass Algebra so that I can actually graduate this spring from college.
Monday, January 10, 2011
What's the Dealio
SO It's been three days since my last post.
So much for having a record of ever day this year haha that lasted all of a week. But besides the point, Let us look back at whats happend
So like I said in my previous post my Karate motivation/friendly rival/wise older brother John left to start his life with the soon to be Mrs. John H. in Texas. Tonight was the first class without him and you could feel the void, LOL I have a coat kinda like the ones he wears however and it was chillin on the bench tonight and someone thought he was here, So John you are missed :P
LEts see, tomorrow I start school, AND I HAVE NO SCHOOL BOOKS YET. Really, still. They musta lost em or something. AND tomorrow I gotta find a reason why I haven't finished my Algebra homework over the break.... :/ grrreat, TONY!!!
Sorry I am super hyper and giddy and. Yeah, first thing my Mabudatchi pal Aaya thinks is that I'm in love haha....and ya know what. I think she's onto something ;)
Anyway I gotta cut this short cuz despite me not having class till wednesday I gotta wake up early to pick up my cousin for classes at 8 in da freakin morning. Wassup wit dat.
I need an Ice scraper.....LEMME SAY IT AGAIN, A GIANT ICE HOLE.....I gotta lay off the sugar, which wouldn't help cuz I am happy for a different reason, and it's a dang good one too :)
So much for having a record of ever day this year haha that lasted all of a week. But besides the point, Let us look back at whats happend
So like I said in my previous post my Karate motivation/friendly rival/wise older brother John left to start his life with the soon to be Mrs. John H. in Texas. Tonight was the first class without him and you could feel the void, LOL I have a coat kinda like the ones he wears however and it was chillin on the bench tonight and someone thought he was here, So John you are missed :P
LEts see, tomorrow I start school, AND I HAVE NO SCHOOL BOOKS YET. Really, still. They musta lost em or something. AND tomorrow I gotta find a reason why I haven't finished my Algebra homework over the break.... :/ grrreat, TONY!!!
Sorry I am super hyper and giddy and. Yeah, first thing my Mabudatchi pal Aaya thinks is that I'm in love haha....and ya know what. I think she's onto something ;)
Anyway I gotta cut this short cuz despite me not having class till wednesday I gotta wake up early to pick up my cousin for classes at 8 in da freakin morning. Wassup wit dat.
I need an Ice scraper.....LEMME SAY IT AGAIN, A GIANT ICE HOLE.....I gotta lay off the sugar, which wouldn't help cuz I am happy for a different reason, and it's a dang good one too :)
Friday, January 7, 2011
Insomnia, the source of many an inspired act
For those that may not know I am an insomniac, although I have gotten better. I dunno if thats possible but I guess it is.
So today was, eh ok, I spent most of the day watching House and attempting to be artistic while chillin in my living room. It didn't work out too well, the whole me being artistic not the watching House part. I am not too much of an artist, I really only have two peices of artwork I really have done and one isn't finished.
My first drawing was of a lone island in the middle of the sea, the sun is setting as gulls fly by and three palm trees wave in the breeze. I drew this after a series of dreams that would keep me awake for hours that I had over the course of about a month, every night the same dream. There is a girl on a rock, she is dancing around as the sun is setting so I can make out her shape but not her face or anything hinting at who she may be. Because I cant draw people to save my life I drew instead a small island that could be where she was dancing however in my dream there were no palm trees. The dream ends the same way every night. She is spinning around and then stops facing towards me, she looks down for a moment and then looks at me saying "Fight for me, will you? Please?"
The second drawing (which is unfinished) Is of the scene from the Legend of Zelda A Link to the Past where the Master Sword rests in the middle of the Lost Woods. Faaaarr more detailed so it's not close to being done yet lol.
So today my friend I have trained with for the last three years John Hinman leaves to start a life with his soon to be wife in Texas. I am very happy for him and her and hope they have a long happy marriage together forever. John's always been the guy who has pushed me to keep going when it came to Karate, at least for the last few years I've known him, I will miss him but I know that it's not goodbye cuz we'll see each other again HAHA.
I may post more later, I know I will be up for a while.
I feel like taking a walk, I can hear the wind howling outside...
Nights like this make me feel like howling at the moon, which I haven't done in a while and have only done in front of one person.
So today was, eh ok, I spent most of the day watching House and attempting to be artistic while chillin in my living room. It didn't work out too well, the whole me being artistic not the watching House part. I am not too much of an artist, I really only have two peices of artwork I really have done and one isn't finished.
My first drawing was of a lone island in the middle of the sea, the sun is setting as gulls fly by and three palm trees wave in the breeze. I drew this after a series of dreams that would keep me awake for hours that I had over the course of about a month, every night the same dream. There is a girl on a rock, she is dancing around as the sun is setting so I can make out her shape but not her face or anything hinting at who she may be. Because I cant draw people to save my life I drew instead a small island that could be where she was dancing however in my dream there were no palm trees. The dream ends the same way every night. She is spinning around and then stops facing towards me, she looks down for a moment and then looks at me saying "Fight for me, will you? Please?"
The second drawing (which is unfinished) Is of the scene from the Legend of Zelda A Link to the Past where the Master Sword rests in the middle of the Lost Woods. Faaaarr more detailed so it's not close to being done yet lol.
So today my friend I have trained with for the last three years John Hinman leaves to start a life with his soon to be wife in Texas. I am very happy for him and her and hope they have a long happy marriage together forever. John's always been the guy who has pushed me to keep going when it came to Karate, at least for the last few years I've known him, I will miss him but I know that it's not goodbye cuz we'll see each other again HAHA.
I may post more later, I know I will be up for a while.
I feel like taking a walk, I can hear the wind howling outside...
Nights like this make me feel like howling at the moon, which I haven't done in a while and have only done in front of one person.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
MAKE IT STOOOOOP
I'M TALKING IN ALL CAPS AND I CAN'T SHUT IT OFF!!!!!!!!
Ahh, today was a good day. Not too much happend though so this'll be a rather short post.
I was sposed to get my hair cut today but I couldn't find the hair trimmers so it didn't happen, thinkin bout postponing my haircut anyway, maybe. My hair is awesome hahaha I have my grandpa Mike's hair in that I started going grey early in life. I started getting grey hair when I hit age 16, before you couldn't see it much unless you really looked for it. Now you can really notice my grey haha, I honestly can't wait to get a headfull of grey hair :) I rather like it. Grandpa Mike was totally grey by the time he hit 29 so thats my goal lol. Well the real fun part is he was actually silver not so much grey, it was really cool lookin. Silver is my favorite colour so I am rather excited hahaha.
Tonight at Karate we worked on freestyle joint locks, soooo much fun. Basically what it is, is you and your partner shake hands and keep ahold of eachothers hand, from there you both alternate in getting eachother into different joint locks based on whatever position your arms/hands are in. I enjoy it but I'm always pretty sore afterwards.
Not much else to say, can't wait to see what this weekend holds for me.
Ahh, today was a good day. Not too much happend though so this'll be a rather short post.
I was sposed to get my hair cut today but I couldn't find the hair trimmers so it didn't happen, thinkin bout postponing my haircut anyway, maybe. My hair is awesome hahaha I have my grandpa Mike's hair in that I started going grey early in life. I started getting grey hair when I hit age 16, before you couldn't see it much unless you really looked for it. Now you can really notice my grey haha, I honestly can't wait to get a headfull of grey hair :) I rather like it. Grandpa Mike was totally grey by the time he hit 29 so thats my goal lol. Well the real fun part is he was actually silver not so much grey, it was really cool lookin. Silver is my favorite colour so I am rather excited hahaha.
Tonight at Karate we worked on freestyle joint locks, soooo much fun. Basically what it is, is you and your partner shake hands and keep ahold of eachothers hand, from there you both alternate in getting eachother into different joint locks based on whatever position your arms/hands are in. I enjoy it but I'm always pretty sore afterwards.
Not much else to say, can't wait to see what this weekend holds for me.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Wanna see you smilin Girl
You're a light in this jaded world. Wipe away those tears, this one's for you.
If you move just a little bit closer, you can put your head on my shoulder. Yeah, yeah.
So school draws ever closer and I still don't have my school books, dang bookstore doesn't have em, and one of my prof. "Doesn't believe in books" HAHA.
Last night I got a huge shock, I may be testing for Chodan sooner than I expected. Ulp. I will be ready, I just don't know if I'll be able to afford my testing fee this soon. I just know that things will fall into place. Money drives people insane when they don't have it, but to the point of ecstasy when they do, it's really a funny thing. I don't worry about it because for the last three years no matter how bad of shape I'm in money wise, I always get out alright with everything taken care of.
Hmm, I think the rest of this post shall be inspirational somewhat, though I am not sure how, or what to say ya know.
I try my best to help people, make em smile. But sometimes I don't always know what to say :/ and it makes me feel bad cuz, I REALLY want to help the people I see that are visably hurting, but I don't always know how :(. But I can and will say this. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear your words, a hand to hold, or a body to hug. I am on call 24/7 365 :)
If you move just a little bit closer, you can put your head on my shoulder. Yeah, yeah.
So school draws ever closer and I still don't have my school books, dang bookstore doesn't have em, and one of my prof. "Doesn't believe in books" HAHA.
Last night I got a huge shock, I may be testing for Chodan sooner than I expected. Ulp. I will be ready, I just don't know if I'll be able to afford my testing fee this soon. I just know that things will fall into place. Money drives people insane when they don't have it, but to the point of ecstasy when they do, it's really a funny thing. I don't worry about it because for the last three years no matter how bad of shape I'm in money wise, I always get out alright with everything taken care of.
Hmm, I think the rest of this post shall be inspirational somewhat, though I am not sure how, or what to say ya know.
I try my best to help people, make em smile. But sometimes I don't always know what to say :/ and it makes me feel bad cuz, I REALLY want to help the people I see that are visably hurting, but I don't always know how :(. But I can and will say this. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear your words, a hand to hold, or a body to hug. I am on call 24/7 365 :)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Part Duex
So obviously my last post was flying around in more directions than holiday airlines. TO make up for it I will do a redo hahaha
Sorta.
Last night was FREAKIN SWEET!!! It felt soo good to get back into karate, we started with a couple forms and then worked on joint locks with Alayna who I nearly elbowed in the face (I SORREH IF I DID). I keep thinkin bout my Dan test, I'm getting it into my head that Sabo Nim Bailey could schedule the test at ANY time so I gotta be ready to jump at the first gun and be confident and ready. I am soo pumped up for this.
So today I think I get to go pick up my school books for this semester, possibly get a new tire put on my car, and then more KARATE!!!!
I tell ya Karate is like the best thing in the world to me hahaha. There will be more to say once more happens, but for that I probably gotta get outa my house. LATER
Sorta.
Last night was FREAKIN SWEET!!! It felt soo good to get back into karate, we started with a couple forms and then worked on joint locks with Alayna who I nearly elbowed in the face (I SORREH IF I DID). I keep thinkin bout my Dan test, I'm getting it into my head that Sabo Nim Bailey could schedule the test at ANY time so I gotta be ready to jump at the first gun and be confident and ready. I am soo pumped up for this.
So today I think I get to go pick up my school books for this semester, possibly get a new tire put on my car, and then more KARATE!!!!
I tell ya Karate is like the best thing in the world to me hahaha. There will be more to say once more happens, but for that I probably gotta get outa my house. LATER
Monday, January 3, 2011
What to do, What to do
I gotta LOT on my mind, so of course I'll blog about...most of it :). I don't know if there is a word limit on here but I'm sure that there is way too much to type here, I gotta sleep eventually :P.
One of the biggest things on my mind is School. I'm just not sure what to do after JuCo, I feel the need to move onto a 4 year and get my BS (not bull excrement although I know where to find that). Should I move onto a 4 year I will change my major to Education, likely elementary, I would love to do that now but I don't think I have the money to switch majors at this point in my JuCo career. There is a limit to the amount of credit hours I can take and keep my finacial aid and I have about hit that ceiling. However I don't think I can afford to go onto a 4 year and I am the kind of person that HATES taking out student loans. The less people I owe money to in the end the better.
On a plus note tonight was the first night back in Karate and although my right leg felt like it was dyin I felt pretty good, I have a good idea about what I should do to prepare for my Dan test. I just gotta get busy with it all
So my tire is no longer holding air for any decent amount of time. Last year at around march or so some punk kid slashed my tire and I got a nail in another, well they fixed the nail but I had to get a new tire to replace the slashed one, however "new" is not an accurate description. I got a used tire because I had to have my car and couldn't wait the three days it would take for them to get a new tire in to fit my car. Well that used tire is about breathing its last so I gotta replace it sooner rather than later.
Hmm, so, there's this girl. She's got like super powers, no matter how sucky my day is, all she has to do is look at me and I forget it all and can;t help but smile. All I gotta say is I cannot WAIT to see what happens this year. It's gonna be exciting.
Sadly that is it for now, I'm sure tomorrow I'll have alot more to talk about, heck I may think of more to talk about in a few hours if I can't sleep lol
One of the biggest things on my mind is School. I'm just not sure what to do after JuCo, I feel the need to move onto a 4 year and get my BS (not bull excrement although I know where to find that). Should I move onto a 4 year I will change my major to Education, likely elementary, I would love to do that now but I don't think I have the money to switch majors at this point in my JuCo career. There is a limit to the amount of credit hours I can take and keep my finacial aid and I have about hit that ceiling. However I don't think I can afford to go onto a 4 year and I am the kind of person that HATES taking out student loans. The less people I owe money to in the end the better.
On a plus note tonight was the first night back in Karate and although my right leg felt like it was dyin I felt pretty good, I have a good idea about what I should do to prepare for my Dan test. I just gotta get busy with it all
So my tire is no longer holding air for any decent amount of time. Last year at around march or so some punk kid slashed my tire and I got a nail in another, well they fixed the nail but I had to get a new tire to replace the slashed one, however "new" is not an accurate description. I got a used tire because I had to have my car and couldn't wait the three days it would take for them to get a new tire in to fit my car. Well that used tire is about breathing its last so I gotta replace it sooner rather than later.
Hmm, so, there's this girl. She's got like super powers, no matter how sucky my day is, all she has to do is look at me and I forget it all and can;t help but smile. All I gotta say is I cannot WAIT to see what happens this year. It's gonna be exciting.
Sadly that is it for now, I'm sure tomorrow I'll have alot more to talk about, heck I may think of more to talk about in a few hours if I can't sleep lol
Never buy cheap spray paint
The title speaks for itself on this one, don't ever buy cheap spray paint, more trouble than it's worth.
So today is the first day back at the studio for 2011, I am so psyched up to start training again. If the Dan testing this year is around the same time it was last spring then I should be testing around April of this year, gives me four short months to change the way all my material looks from a 1st Gup to a 1st Dan. The way I look at my tests is I know what I need to know and I know what rank I seek to earn, so I need to make my stuff look like the rank I am seeking rather than the rank I currently hold. This may only make sense to my karate friends, which on here equals 1 LOL.
I have 1 week left before I start back up the last semester of my college classes here at JuCo. My current schedule consists of Intro to Political Science, Intro to Criminal Behavior which are the only two classes I actually need to graduate, but so I will be at full time status I am also taking German 1 and Engineering Graphics. There is no real reason to take the last two except I am part German so I would LOVE to learn to speak it, and the engineering tech Professor Kevin O'Neil is hilarious and an awesome guy so I told him I would take a class from him before I graduated.
So for the one thing I have been putting off allllll Christmas. I bombed my Algebra Final last Semester so my prof. (Also my current Boss) gave me a list of make up work I gotta finish by the end of this month so I can pass. I have been putting it off but I finally started on it lol. I plan to have it done before I start back up so here's hopin :).
Today I am hopin to head to the next town over to hang out at the park with my randomness friend before Karate tonight. This town and the next one over both have studios that offer classes on alternating days so with my test coming up I'm trying to make as many as I can.
Likely I will put up another post tonight after class. Catch ya on the flip side
So today is the first day back at the studio for 2011, I am so psyched up to start training again. If the Dan testing this year is around the same time it was last spring then I should be testing around April of this year, gives me four short months to change the way all my material looks from a 1st Gup to a 1st Dan. The way I look at my tests is I know what I need to know and I know what rank I seek to earn, so I need to make my stuff look like the rank I am seeking rather than the rank I currently hold. This may only make sense to my karate friends, which on here equals 1 LOL.
I have 1 week left before I start back up the last semester of my college classes here at JuCo. My current schedule consists of Intro to Political Science, Intro to Criminal Behavior which are the only two classes I actually need to graduate, but so I will be at full time status I am also taking German 1 and Engineering Graphics. There is no real reason to take the last two except I am part German so I would LOVE to learn to speak it, and the engineering tech Professor Kevin O'Neil is hilarious and an awesome guy so I told him I would take a class from him before I graduated.
So for the one thing I have been putting off allllll Christmas. I bombed my Algebra Final last Semester so my prof. (Also my current Boss) gave me a list of make up work I gotta finish by the end of this month so I can pass. I have been putting it off but I finally started on it lol. I plan to have it done before I start back up so here's hopin :).
Today I am hopin to head to the next town over to hang out at the park with my randomness friend before Karate tonight. This town and the next one over both have studios that offer classes on alternating days so with my test coming up I'm trying to make as many as I can.
Likely I will put up another post tonight after class. Catch ya on the flip side
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Life's too Short
So for the last, oh I don't know month and a half, I have been doing ALOT of thinking about my life, where it's been, where it's going. I have come to the conclusion that life is WAY too short to stress myself out or stay stuck in the past, if I died tomorrow morning how much of my life would I see as being wasted?
Today was a decent day, I woke up at around 8 but quickly passed back out till around 10. Once I finally got up I got around, showered and got dressed and went to my parents to see what was up there and to grab some breakfast. Afterwards I headed to Wally to buy spray paint to finish the wall in my shop then went home to chill. Then after a few hours I went on an adventure in Baconland with my karate friend Alayna and her sister and boyfriend Raye and Jared, We chilled climbed on random stuff and took some pictures. That was probably the highlight of my day :).
SO I guess to finish out this post I want to say to anyone out there that will listen or that may need to hear it. Life is too short to not smile, don't let the stresses of life pull you down, it's not a fun place to be. Instead focuz on the adventure this new year will undoubtly bring to anyone willing to make the first step. It may be hard to understand but I have been where most people either are or were, I've been at the point in life where you would just love to say "forget it I'm done" where nothing goes right and you just wanna throw in the towel. But if you never read any of my posts, please just read these words. There will always be a reason to keep moving forward, something or someone that pushes you to take that extra step and never give up.
There will always be someone there, to tell you to keep holding on, and who will catch you should you fall.
"Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." -Frodo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings
Today was a decent day, I woke up at around 8 but quickly passed back out till around 10. Once I finally got up I got around, showered and got dressed and went to my parents to see what was up there and to grab some breakfast. Afterwards I headed to Wally to buy spray paint to finish the wall in my shop then went home to chill. Then after a few hours I went on an adventure in Baconland with my karate friend Alayna and her sister and boyfriend Raye and Jared, We chilled climbed on random stuff and took some pictures. That was probably the highlight of my day :).
SO I guess to finish out this post I want to say to anyone out there that will listen or that may need to hear it. Life is too short to not smile, don't let the stresses of life pull you down, it's not a fun place to be. Instead focuz on the adventure this new year will undoubtly bring to anyone willing to make the first step. It may be hard to understand but I have been where most people either are or were, I've been at the point in life where you would just love to say "forget it I'm done" where nothing goes right and you just wanna throw in the towel. But if you never read any of my posts, please just read these words. There will always be a reason to keep moving forward, something or someone that pushes you to take that extra step and never give up.
There will always be someone there, to tell you to keep holding on, and who will catch you should you fall.
"Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." -Frodo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Welcome to Life
So to start 2011 I have decided to resurrect my old Blogging habits, however my old blog has long since been lost to the wastes of the Internet.
SO TADA, New year new blog.
So I spose I should start with an intro...with a MUSICAL NUMBER!!
Dang no musical number
So my name is Matthew, most people just call me Matt and a select few refer to me as Matsui which is a shortend version of Matsu-nii, -nii is a Japanese honorific used to denote an older brother. So in case you didn't figure this out already I am a huge nerd, especially when it comes to Japanese culture and Martial Arts. I am from a small almost out of the way town in Southeast Kansas. I'm currently a Sophmore in the Local JuCo with plans to graduate this May with my AS in Criminology. I currently am training for my Blackbelt in Tang Soo Do with my Test in only about 4 short months.
Martial Arts have been a huge part of my life, I started back when I was about 13 years old and my reasons for training have changed over the years. I first started training because I felt so alone and so out of touch with humanity that I felt if I fought other people and constantly pushed myself people would see me and I wouldn't feel alone. Now I train to push myself and fight with as many different people I can so I can learn more about different styles and always get stronger because of it.
As you can plainly see if no one stops me I will ramble on forever about one thing, I am constantly afraid of driving people off by being annoying like that HAHA.
Well what else is there to say, I absolutly LOVE adventuring, however sometimes I tend to get overly excited and don't always properly prepare myself for my many random adventures. I believe that Randomness makes life less boring, people need to get out and do things on a whim sometimes rather than always stick to the same old routine.
I rang in 2011 in the best way I knew how, first I had planned to do 100 forms out at the state lake behind my house, which is easier said than done. However due to recent injuries with my right knee and ankle I wasn't able to complete all 100. So then I journied to the next town over where I spent the rest of my evening with a girl I train with and who is as random (if not more) as I am :) we chilled, had a strobe light dance party, watched Despicable Me (IT'S SO FLUFFEH), blew stuff up with her family and just had a freakin amazing time. Earlier today we both made plans to get together Dec. 31st and do it all over again :).
What else, I am a hopeless romantic at heart who may not be as hopeless as I thought at first. I love star gazing and drinking coffee and dancing the night away with a certain someone. Tomorrow I plan to do some algebra work and then hopefully meet up with my friend for some adventuring and picture taking
I haven't done this in so long I have kinda forgotten how to blog and this turned into the biggest ramble of randomness I have ever typed, but thats who I am :). I plan on writing a blog ever few days if not once a week so I have a record of everything that happens this year so I can look back and say "Dang....I'm a nerd" or something like that :)
SO TADA, New year new blog.
So I spose I should start with an intro...with a MUSICAL NUMBER!!
Dang no musical number
So my name is Matthew, most people just call me Matt and a select few refer to me as Matsui which is a shortend version of Matsu-nii, -nii is a Japanese honorific used to denote an older brother. So in case you didn't figure this out already I am a huge nerd, especially when it comes to Japanese culture and Martial Arts. I am from a small almost out of the way town in Southeast Kansas. I'm currently a Sophmore in the Local JuCo with plans to graduate this May with my AS in Criminology. I currently am training for my Blackbelt in Tang Soo Do with my Test in only about 4 short months.
Martial Arts have been a huge part of my life, I started back when I was about 13 years old and my reasons for training have changed over the years. I first started training because I felt so alone and so out of touch with humanity that I felt if I fought other people and constantly pushed myself people would see me and I wouldn't feel alone. Now I train to push myself and fight with as many different people I can so I can learn more about different styles and always get stronger because of it.
As you can plainly see if no one stops me I will ramble on forever about one thing, I am constantly afraid of driving people off by being annoying like that HAHA.
Well what else is there to say, I absolutly LOVE adventuring, however sometimes I tend to get overly excited and don't always properly prepare myself for my many random adventures. I believe that Randomness makes life less boring, people need to get out and do things on a whim sometimes rather than always stick to the same old routine.
I rang in 2011 in the best way I knew how, first I had planned to do 100 forms out at the state lake behind my house, which is easier said than done. However due to recent injuries with my right knee and ankle I wasn't able to complete all 100. So then I journied to the next town over where I spent the rest of my evening with a girl I train with and who is as random (if not more) as I am :) we chilled, had a strobe light dance party, watched Despicable Me (IT'S SO FLUFFEH), blew stuff up with her family and just had a freakin amazing time. Earlier today we both made plans to get together Dec. 31st and do it all over again :).
What else, I am a hopeless romantic at heart who may not be as hopeless as I thought at first. I love star gazing and drinking coffee and dancing the night away with a certain someone. Tomorrow I plan to do some algebra work and then hopefully meet up with my friend for some adventuring and picture taking
I haven't done this in so long I have kinda forgotten how to blog and this turned into the biggest ramble of randomness I have ever typed, but thats who I am :). I plan on writing a blog ever few days if not once a week so I have a record of everything that happens this year so I can look back and say "Dang....I'm a nerd" or something like that :)
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